Porter Aya

 Chipmunk cheeks and asian eyes. Perfection

Porter Aya Lannin Dove

 At 2:55 am Porter Aya Lannin Dove was welcomed into our world. Mamma Rose and Papa Sean are doing fine, it was a very long night for the parents. Nana Sugar and Gramps Dove are ecstatic with joy for tor this bundle of happiness. She is much needed in this world of ours.

Happy Birthday!

Love 💕 

The question of the day

 Is it going to happen today?

COVID 19 vaccine

 Sunnier outlook? MAYBE!

World Cancer Day heartbreaker

Thank you Sean for sharing these words with us. 

 In 2018 I felt a small bump on the right side of my jaw. It felt weird but went on with my life. Months later I could feel it had grown, after a lot of procrastinating I went to the doctor. He said come back in a couple months and we'll check if it gets bigger. #WorldCancerDay

Inside I was very worried about it, but going in and knowing what was wrong felt like it would make it real. Months went by and more procrastinating. Finally I went in and right away I could  tell he thought something was wrong and he sent me to a specialist.

Oh I should add I started having crazy anxiety. Heart pounding panic attacks. At one point we had to leave a movie cause I thought I was having a heart attack. I got on medication and started seeing a therapist... and it helped a ton.

The surgery went about as well as you could expect. It was my first time and I was totally terrified. I woke up and everything hurt, I had a tube coming out of my neck to drain fluids... it was all very gross.

My doctor was done for the day and my wife had to break it to me that the tumor was malignant. It was not the way I wanted to come out of surgery. Again I was sent to more specialists, and it was decided I needed radiation therapy.

One blessing in all this is Chicago is very near a proton center. Proton radiation therapy has the advantage that it's way more targeted than standard radiation. It damages less surrounding tissues, but my health insurance wouldn't cover it. It was considered experimental.

But here is the awesome thing... the proton center needs patients to show it works and the benefits over standard radiation... so it was done for free. FREE!

Radiation sucks. It becomes your job. Everyday I had an hour drive out to the proton center. I'd get undress, locked down to a table and then shot with protons for 20 mins. Then back in the car for another hour back. It was a weird couple months.

Weird things start happening to your mouth. my diet became very soft things, lots of soup. Anything remotely spicy became like the most spicy thing you have every tasted. Flavors of things got weird... I lost a lot of weight.

And then it was over... and time passes and you see your doctor and the one thing you want to hear they can't say... You're Cured.... cause you're never cured of cancer, it's a process. Stuff get's better and I've been cancer free now for two + years.

It's still something I worry about... back of my head, what if I have to do that all over again. But I had an amazing support system, my wife, my parents and friends were all the best. I have no idea how anyone does this with out them.

Anyway... long story short. Trust your self if something feels wrong, see your doctor, exercise... all the boring stuff you need to do to take care and hopefully you have the right people with you to make it though. #WorldCancerDay 

Get up and do it again

 

When the morning light comes streaming in I'll get up do it again.

I had a dream last night

 i had a dream last night 

put to rest, in life
a flash, a moment
gone with the wind
why?
the shadow fades
only a memory.

Paintings as clear as day 

gone with the wind
why?
there is only loss
only a memory.

The fog lifts

how long has it been

hours

days

dreams as vivid as daylight

floating in and out

Hugs

 Covid 19 thought:

I long for the kind of hugs where you can physically feel the sadness leaving the body.

January Snow

 Snow falling  

May the abyss come upon us 
a silent heart
Snow falling 
a moment, a minute 
to forever decay

2021

 2021

Happy New Year! I hope this new year brings some happier times. Last year should be called the year that wasn't. Waking up in Ann Arbor, Michigan this year is quite different to say the lease. If I am not mistaken Sugar, Sean, Rose and I were on Maui on New Years day in 2020. Look forward to new adventures in the coming year. I find myself constantly thinking about our new Granddaughter that will arrive in April. Exciting times ahead for Sean and Rose. Heres to our being able to spend time with the new bundle of JOY! 

“You are not too old 
and it is not too late
to dive into your increasing depths 
where life calmly gives out 
its own secret.” 
― Rilke

It's Official

 Exciting NEWS for the Dove's!