Welcome to my Despair.  It could be that the purpose of my life is only to serve as a warning to others.

DOVE'S WORLD

"Hey, what's that?"

"I call it ART."

"I am the FIRST ARTIST."

"My kid can do better than THAT.  I am the FIRST ART CRITIC."

"How much do you want for it?  I am the FIRST ART COLLECTOR."

"Tell me all about your work and yourself.  I am the FIRST ART HISTORIAN."

Make the animal face the other way.  I'm the FIRST ART DIRECTOR."

I don't know anything about art, but I know what I like.  I am the FIRST HUMAN TO MAKE THAT STATEMENT."

I should'a said I'm the first interior decorator!