NANU ALL PAU

May 29, 2012  Another passage in time.  It is probably interesting only to me but we were on our way to Chicago to visit Sean about the same time this year as we were ten years ago when Nanu died.  I always felt we should have had some kind of memorial gathering to honor her 95 years of living and caring for others.
Sugar wrote this today and she is so right.  Thank you remembering her.

I don't usually like to reveal too much about what goes on inside my head emotionally, but maybe in this case I will say something about the passing of my mother and a women who probably needs remembering with some love.

I am slowly coming to grips with the passing of my mother 10 years ago today.  As I recall I was coaching and my life was one of continuous work and coaching that completely consumed me.  Her passing was just a relieve back then.  All I wanted was everyone to have some piece.  I visited her at the beginning of that year when we knew she only had months to live.  I was mad about what had happened to our family and wanted it to all end and go away.  I now see how complicated living is and dealing with who people were and who people have become.  Now that I have time on my side I am trying to see everything in a brand new light.  Life goes on and the memories are what we will hopefully cherish.  Letting go is hard.

I don’t know what happened that all that could be said of her 95 years of living was this:

VIOLET TAM DOVE, 95, of Niu Valley, died May 25, 2002. Born in Honolulu. Survived by daughters, Joann Churchill and Mary Muirhead; sons, Ralph Snively and Michael Dove; sisters, Lillian Deaton and Edith Niemann; five grandchildren; five great-grandchildren. Private service held. Arrangements by Borthwick Mortuary.

She was a complicated woman.  I to this day do not know who she was.  I never had a clue about her past and the family that she came from.  She never talked to me about it and I never asked. 

She deserved more, but I will have to leave that to the past and give this to her today.
Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal. (Anon)

Yesterday is a memory, tomorrow is
a mystery and today is a gift,
which is why it is called the present.
What the caterpillar perceives is the end;
to the butterfly is just the beginning.
Everything that has a beginning has an ending.
Make your peace with that and all will be well
(Buddhist Saying)