Wrapping up loose ends

Just saying what I need to say and will continue to speak my mind in the coming year or years. This is my blog and how I talk to myself without talking out loud.

On Leaving
Sugar and I are selling our home on Oahu, and we’re moving back to the mainland. I’m sad to be leaving, but excited for the next chapter of our lives. In the 71 years total I’ve lived, this is the 3rd time I’ve left. However, it isn’t any easier.

I’ve been extremely fortunate to live in these amazing islands. It has shaped me as an individual. Hawaii is a part of me. It’s difficult to explain to somebody that hasn’t fully experienced this land, or ʻāina. A vacation could never do it justice. I know the rocks, trees, reefs, and crevices of this island. I’ve paddled its bays, swam with its inhabitants, and crawled through its veins. After years of exploring the shores of Oahu, I’ve gained a spiritual connection to this wonderful land. In terms of natural beauty, weather, and the ocean — Hawaii is heaven on earth. I will carry those experiences and memories with me for the rest of my life. I’m not sure I will be back, even if it’s just to visit.

If you’re reading this, it’s was my dream to move back to Hawaii, please don’t use our decision to leave as any justification for not moving to the islands. That would be like not going to a great college because it’s expensive and far away.

The responses I receive when telling people we are leaving Hawaii for Michigan vary, but they usually don’t favor Michigan. The most common response is, “Why would you ever leave Hawaii?” That’s a fair question. However, if everybody chose their home solely by its level of comfort, beauty, and perfect waves, Hawaii would be the most populated place in the world…

So Why Leave?

Nobody was twisting my arm. There were no forcing functions — like a death in the family or loss of a job. Although to be truthful I must say I want just want to be close to my son and his wife. Life is short and who knows what is around the corner. The decision to leave Hawaii was an amalgamation of several reasons:

My Roots Are Elsewhere

Since I have made this decision I have mentally checked out. In some ways I might have checked out years ago. I was born and raised here in Honolulu, yet  have always had a yearning or at least a desire to live on the mainland. I began traveling to California when I was 6 years old to spend the summer with my Grandparents. We had great adventures, visiting Arizona, New Mexico ad Colorado. Although I had friends here I have never really cultivated them. I met my wife here but left sometime in the 70’s and permanently in the 80’s. My heart and mind is elsewhere.
The odd thing is, I am not local enough for the locals and I am too local for the so-called new locals.

While living with Sugar in Ann Arbor for years, I came to a realization. I’m a Ann Arborite, I had almost forgotten. During my time back in Michigan I fell in love with the people and her family. In the process, I fell in love with Michigan. 

When stacking up the pros and cons of the two states in the country, Michigan is usually found wanting. Personally, I have a conflicted relationship with the place. There are a lot of things to hate in that weird-ass land, but there are a lot of things to love as well. I could never purge those white sand beaches, blue water lakes, fall colors from my soul. My roots run deep in Michigan. When I came back, I learned to appreciate the good with the bad.

“Why do you go away? So that you can come back. So that you can see the place you came from with new eyes and extra colors. And the people there see you differently, too. Coming back to where you started is not the same as never leaving.”

— 

The Lack Of A Support Network

There are a handful of people I turn to if things get tough. Most of those friends and family are in Michigan.

The next chapter of mine and Sugar’s  life will hopefully involve family and friends we love. We are fortunate. We want to be surrounded by friends and family. We want our possible grandchildren to grow up having a relationship with us. This was an important factor in our decision to leave Hawaii.

The Isolation

Hawaii can be very isolating. The islands are far from everything. That’s part of their appeal. However, it’s also a big reason why most people that move to Hawaii don’t stay indefinitely. It’s not only the distance that makes Hawaii isolating. In fact, I can deal with that. It’s the absence of a social life that makes a place feel truly isolating.

I don’t have a group of buddies at a job that I can shoot the shit with on a daily basis. In fact, I don’t have anybody on Oahu that I need to interact with. The only new people I have meet are through surfing or the neighbors. As a result, my isolation on Oahu often feels doubled. I’m lacking a healthy level of human interaction on this island.

The Boredom

It gets boring living on the island.  Not much changes on Oahu— other than the traffic and cost of living getting considerably worse over the years. However, when you’ve done everything and gone everywhere on an island, eventually you’re left with nothing to do.

I could usually beat back the boredom with surfing, but even that has its limits. I have had the pleasure of surfing Reverse, Snipes and Toes all to myself. It wasn’t huge, but it was ridiculously fun. If you don’t know anything about surfing, just know that this is nothing short of an absolute miracle. It was as good as surfing could get for me. In that realization, I should have been ecstatic. Instead, there was a lot of sadness. I achieved the pinnacle of my surfing experience. 

The Cost of Living

Any way you roll the dice, living in Hawaii is very expensive. Real estate, rent, taxes, gas, groceries, restaurants — it’s all absurdly overpriced. It’s not getting any cheaper. Nobody said paradise was cheap, but it’s a struggle to keep our heads above the water, much less save for the future. Moving back to the mainland gives us more opportunities for our future.

For The Art

Isolating myself on an island for many years has lead to some stagnation. My Art needs a shot of adrenaline that Hawaii is incapable of providing.

I Love Ann Arbor

AnnArbor is my favorite place in Michigan. It’s like a second home. I have spent a lot of time in the area, and I’ve always loved it. Sugarwas bornin North Carolina, but spent her childhood moving to various locations as part of a military family. Their last stop was in Redford, Michigan. Trading Oahu for Michigan doesn’t feel like a downgrade — except when it comes to wave quality.

Ann Arbor is intellectuals and young or yeh young at heart. The city also has great art, culture, night life, restaurants,and the Huron River. There is a growing infusion of youth and new businesses in the city. Downtown has just the right amount of an urban environment without being overwhelming. It’s quickly becoming a boom town. It feels like a place that is growing for the better, and we’re excited and anxious to be a part of it again.

Our Plans

We will be having Sean and Rose visit us in Niu Valley for the month of January. This should be our last hurrah. Say good bye to friends and relatives. Goodbye- Hello. Then we intend to immerse ourselves in our new home and the rich environment for a few months. The goal is to refocus and secure a new direction for Sugar and I. We intend to start the next chapter of our lives there. It’s a place we know and love, and that’s central to most of our friends and family.

To our friends in Hawaii we will be leaving behind, we’ll miss you and hope to see you again soon. To our friends and family in Michigan, we’ll see you real soon!

Aloha Oahu, You’ll be in my dreams often.

Thursday, Dec. 25, 2019
Christmas Bliss
Found it very relaxing to hear Sean and Rose in the living room watching TV, Sugar in her room doing her thing while I was in my room with Kali laying on the bed dozing. Christmas bliss

Tuesday, Dec. 24, 2019
Starting Over
I realized I don't have any regrets. Sometimes just getting it out in the open is the best thing you can do. You don't need anybody in your life that is absolutely negative, twisting and turning a knife. Well maybe this isn't all true. My regret is others are often brought into situations they don't deserve. I'm a big boy and if I can dish it I can take it. I am so lucky to have people that love and care for me. Time
for me to keep moving on.

 

Dec. 23, 2019
This is my personal blog and I may offend you. This is a private way of expressing myself. DoveSpeaksAgain is, Dove On Virtually Everything.

Oh yeah, Happy FESTIVUS!